PregnancyCrawler

Welcome to The Club

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Since you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you are about to join the ranks of parenthood. And that’s probably a good way to say it: “join the ranks of parenthood”. It is difficult to explain the feelings of parenthood to those who have never experienced it. However, it is evident very early in parenthood that one has joined a very unique club. A club whose membership hangs on the successes and failures, ups and downs, pain and pleasures of their offspring.
Non-parents sometimes sneer at the overindulgence of parents in their offspring……they don’t understand…….we can’t help ourselves. It’s instinctual. It’s maddening. It’s joyful. It’s painful. It’s fulfilling. And at the same time that it’s sublimely selfless, it can be the most selfish of relationships. For one to have so much control over the life of another, and to feel, at times, so out of control…….done properly, the responsibility is overwhelming.

Those who work in maternal/child health often joke that newborns don’t come with user’s manuals. They are referring to the fact that shortly after giving birth, a new parent is sent home with a new baby, quite inexperienced and often wondering how to care for the life of a new human being. But there ARE manuals…..and there is help available. If your own parents did less than a splendid job with their parenting, consider asking for some professional assistance.

Abuse rates among the formerly abused are unacceptably high. Early parenthood is often exhausting, frightening and lonely. If you are uncertain whether or not you can be an EXCELLENT parent, ask for help. Your child deserves nothing less. Ask your doctor or midwife to refer you to a social worker for information about parenting resources in your community. We need to act as though each child is a future Nobel Prize winner or the next Mother Teresa…..we need to nurture them to their full potential. It’s an awesome task.

Fear and Anxiety

Have you ever heard the expression, “a face only a mother could love”? There’s a “Seinfeld” episode regarding a young family with a new baby. Jerry and Elaine are mystified at the gushing attraction of the parents and pediatrician to what is apparently a very homely baby. This is the power of parenthood. It is beyond reason. And it is very powerful.
That same power makes a female grizzly bear with young cubs one of the most fearsome creatures on Earth. Almost every year in the Rocky Mountains an unsuspecting hiker surprises a mother grizzly and becomes a victim of parental protectionism. The forces at work here are the essence of parenthood. Generally speaking, one cannot fathom the depths of this topic until one is a parent. Then, it’s all too clear. Pregnancy gives one a first glimpse.

This instinct is near-universal, it serves to protect the young……..but it also promotes the growth of wrinkles and ulcers, and induces insomnia. Whether your “child” is a half-inch-long embryo, a fetus about to be born, a 2-year-old crossing the street, or a 16-year-old with a brand new driver’s license, as a parent this fear and anxiety will now be a constant companion in your life.

You will worry from the beginning……

The reaction is normal. However, it isn’t easy. This will be a major part of your life for quite a while. What’s a mother to do? What every mother does…….worry. Besides, you can’t avoid it. But the way in which you channel your anxiety can make a big difference in your day-to-day life. How does a parent protect the 2-year-old on the sidewalk from the speeding cars in the street? You can stand on the porch and worry, hoping that a car does not hit the child. Or you can hold the toddler’s hand when near traffic. The same simplistic logic works well in pregnancy. Channel your anxiety into constructive behaviour. Here are some ways to do that:

The Odds

Most prospective parents worry considerably whether or not their baby is normal and healthy. Many of the bad things that happen in a pregnancy are actually relatively rare occurrences. The list which follows presents some of these complications and the incidence with which each occurs (and some other factual information). (The denominators of the fractions are “live births” unless stated otherwise.) Don’t forget about the Glossary.
These numbers can generate the fear and anxiety discussed above. Don’t focus too much on them. They are presented here because for 2 reasons. First, knowledge is power. However, many people would argue that a “little” knowledge taken out of context is worse than no knowledge at all……there is some truth to that. So, find a doctor or midwife who will take the time to put all this information into perspective for you. Secondly, although pregnancy is often a cause for celebration, it can almost be a fact of life which is serious and threatening. For many women who experience a problem during pregnancy, it may be the first time they ever experience the harsher realities of life.

Take these isolated facts and use them as a foundation for discussion with your midwife or doctor. Channel your anxiety into productive, constructive behaviour. Chances are you and your baby will be just fine. The Odds are in your favor.

Opinionated, Anecdotal, Generalized Facts

Miscarriage

Birth defects

Down Syndrome

Maternal Age Incidence
20 1/1923
26 1/1124
35 1/365
40 1/109
49 1/12

Neural tube defects

Multiple Gestation (without the use of fertility drugs)

Risk of multiple gestation when clomiphene (Clomid, Serophene) is used
to induce ovulation- 1/15

Risk of multiple gestation when hMG or FSH (Pergonal, Humegon, Repronex,
Fertinex, Follistim, Gonal-F) is used to induce ovulation- 1/3

Gestational Diabetes (GDM)

Toxemia/Pre-eclampsia

Cesarean section in the U.S.

Malpresentation

Maternal death

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

Circumcision

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