Abuse begats abuse….. abuse may span generations in a family……..however, your history does not have to be your legacy. If you are the victim of physical, emotional, or sexual child abuse, you should consult your health care clinician. Professional guidance can help prevent abuse of your children (and may promote your own inner healing). Although this topic may be difficult for you to express, your history is absolutely private and confidential.
If your male partner, or any person (but especially males) who will play a close role in your child’s upbringing, has ever been physically or sexually abused, that person needs evaluation and counseling prior to parenthood. If you are currently in a relationship in which you are physically, emotionally, or sexually abused, you should carefully consider whether or not to bring a child into that relationship. If your partner has ever pushed, forcefully grabbed, hit, or forced sex with you, your relationship needs evaluation before a child is brought into it. If your male partner has ever committed a sex crime or is involved with child pornography, his fitness for any role in parenthood should be carefully evaluated and initially suspect.
Childbearing is not a solution to a problem relationship. Introducing a child into such a relationship almost always harms the relationship further, and puts the child at risk for abuse. If a major reason why you want to have a baby is to help with a marital or relationship problem, don’t do it. Children place a significant stress on even the most healthy relationships.